Sunday, August 10, 2014

World Wide Welsh Stwff

Maybe I should explain: ‘Stwff’ is what we Taffs (people from Wales – for those who don’t know what a ‘Taff’ is) say for ‘Stuff’, see?

OMG – don’t tell me I have to explain what / where ‘Wales’ is?  “Get a bloody clue and ‘Google’ it, ffs” as some of them (you, too) may say!  

Well, before you (if you haven't already) ask ‘What is this old fart ramblin’ on about now?’ let me further explain:

I spent several hours today pissing into the wind – as it were!  Ever done that? Not much fun, is it?

OK, I see that I now need to further explain myself – Jeez, this is like watching a Slinky going downstairs, innit? ['Innit' - that’s another word ‘Taffs’ say – kinda means “isn’t it” – see how easy it to get the hang of ‘Welsh-speke’?

First off, as agreed, early (6:15 am CDT) I phoned a friend a Wales (by now I hope you have discovered what and where that is) to chat about something we had ‘messaged’ about the day before. Well, although he said he’d be there, he was not! So that was a waste of time – though I did catch up with him many hours later – and spent about 75 minutes chatting; can’t wait for the bill. Anyway, not to get ahead of myself (I tend to do that sometimes, don’t I?) so on to project number two.  

Project number two was actually the higher of the day’s two - in priorities - but had to take second place due to the quirks of international time zones and US banking hours. Anyway, about 10:00 am (CDT) I went to my bank to put a few ‘shekels’ into my safe deposit box. Well, what I really wanted to do was to knock the crap out of the cobwebs that must have accumulated since the last time I opened it. “Hmm”, said the ‘bank-lady’, “Looks like that’s the wrong key”. As I show her my key-fob, plainly labeled ‘Safe Deposit Box’, I says “The F-it is! Look you by ‘ere, mun!” – more of that Welsh-speke, innit? Well, ‘square peg / round hole’, the bloody thing was not what I thought it to be. So, after she shows me what my key should look like, off back home to find the right key, I go.

Before I began the search through what transpired to be the proverbial haystacks, I made that second phone call to Wales. Ah! A delightful voice answers – and after a few pleasantries, I ask the angel to pass the phone to the ‘grump of the house’. Oftentimes, he is jovial, witty and good fun; other times, when he gets on one of his soapboxes, [do NOT mention County Councilors, please] he is like sciatica - but squarely in the ‘you know where’. Today, he was a little ‘down-in-the-mouth’ – somewhat despondent at a seeming lack of following (a euphemism for ‘purchasing of the fruits’) of his passion - photography. Well, I offered to plaster links to websites of his in whatever places I could electronically access – FB, group e-mails, this blogspot, etc. But, just to tease you, I’ll get back to that at the end of this missive.  We commiserated together over the fact that though (allegedly – as noted by ‘hits’) many people may ‘view’ our contributions (in blogs and websites), very few are compelled to offer comments on the content – either favorable, or otherwise – yet the populace seems unable to prevent itself from making a myriad of inane postings in such social media as FaceBook and Twitter. [Casting Director’s note: Jumps off soap-box and returns to important stwff:]   

Four hours, 15 dresser drawers, 5 file cabinet drawers, 21 pockets of 3 suits and 5 jackets later – not to mention a boat-load of cussing (by me) and several prayers (by my wife) to St Anthony (patron saint of lost causes / items, innit?), I found the bloody key! It was where I had cleverly hidden it some months ago – away from the eyes of anyone who may sneak into the house to steal it. Pity I had not been so clever as to remember where I had hidden it. “Eureka and halle-bloody-lullya”, says I to my wife – followed by “Let’s get ourselves a glass of wine and go the pool”. Oh yes, I admonished her that she MUST, in future, remember where I had now hidden it [It’s in the same place as before – surely I won’t forget twice?]  The bank was closed by now (Saturday, see?) so that project is shelved now until Monday.

Pool-flopping - accompanied by consumption of a couple of beers - done, off we go for a curry; hot lamb biryani for me, medium chicken tikka masala for the ‘missus’.  End to a day with muted successes.

Oh aye – now to the ‘commercials’!

Among the ‘creations’ of my friend in Wales (no, not Jonah! He was in a WHALE!), is a website that was intended to create and display an interest in Wales – particularly his small part of it. That site, World Wide Welsh Community, to which I had frequently contributed, morphed into one intended to include other Celtic communities and contributions from such peoples. But, maintenance of those sites required a little revenue for them to prevail - sadly they did not, and so they 'are no more'.  They had included postings by my photographer (and ‘jack of many other trades’) friend about an annual cultural event in Wales that concluded yesterday. It is called an Eisteddfod. [Google it, mun!] Anyway, here is a link to his blogspot about that cultural delight Llanelli Eisteddfod.  There are also photos from that event in his photography website – - Alan Evans Photography. I have three words of advice: ‘Buy his stwff!’ – I want him to be happy again – for the angel in his house!    

Update - November 5th 2015: Well, who'd have thunk?  Here I am a year or more later, just to announce the recent launching of my latest website - with a .cymru domain-extension no less, to append to that World Wide Welsh alliteration that follows www.  [My new website]


  1. One funny guy loaded with curry and beer entering a pool in his dotage! That must be a recipe for disaster. Mind you, he has good taste when it comes to the ladies.

  2. I have to agree, with all that this sage has to say! Anyone who could induce me to eat cockles and laverbread (two renowned Welsh delicacies) - after avoiding them for 70 years - has to have something going for him.

  3. The aforementioned sage of Pontyates wants me to add his blogs to the 'List of blogs I read' - when I figure out how to do that, I will. I tried pasting the URL (the Llanelli Eisteddfod one), but it wouldn't work. Maybe the sage will tell me (in a private FB message - or in a bottle tossed into Loughor Estuary) just how to do it.